No Shirt, No Shoes, No Asshole Politicians, No problem man” Belize

A visit to the world of “No shirt, no shoes, no problem”, Belize begs for some research on your part before arriving, and even more after your arrival. I had done tons of research on what to see, where to go, where to eat and where not to eat. Something I learned after a few days there was that I had way over packed for my 3 weeks there. I lived pretty much in bathing suits, light weight fast drying, polyester Hurley’s of course, and the same in no sleeve shirts. Sandals sometimes, but barefoot, except on the town cobblestones if the way to go.

Belize Attire

Belize Attire

A supply of the best waterproof sunscreen money can buy is essential. Something I found a must because of my wife’s research is a product from Skin So Soft, that is sunscreen combines with insect repellant. Bitting insects are everywhere, especially around food, so be prepared. Areas I overlooked like my muscular tanned legs were eaten for lunch while sitting at an oceanfront bar !

Getting suggestions from the locals, especially your bartender is a must for dining options on the island of Ambergris Caye. As far as dining options for Caye Calker, only one real choice in my humble opinion, and thats the Lazy Lizard Bar & Grill at the Split, and known as the “Sunny place for shard people”. My reason for living ;-))

Me and Crazy Canuck's Owner

Me and Crazy Canuck’s Owner

On Ambergris Caye I can turn you on to some favorites of mine for your dining pleasures, and drinking of course. One of my personal favorites is Crazy Canuck’s Bar where you can dine off their bar menu or have food delivered from the Melt Café next door which was awesome. The Canuck will definitely take care of you, and if he treats you wrong, tell him Gary the Travel Writer will be kicking his ass soon!

Elvis Kitchen is a landmark that you just don’t want to miss either being it’s the most famous restaurant on the island, and the burgers are pretty sweet. Another choice more for dinner is the Blue Water Grill for fresh seafood and dining on the beach in San Pedro. For a fun experience, the Palapa Bar, which by the way, sits over the water, is an experience in itself. Food is fine, drinks are beyond delightful, and you can float in a tube and have beers lowered to you!


For a heavy hitter of a restaurant, maybe for special occasions or if you want to dress up, the Victoria House is a place to dine, and the drinks aren’t bad either. Fancy smanchy, but well worth the bucks.

My favorites for evening dinner starts with Portofino Restaurant that you will need to take a boat to up the coast. In most cases they provide their boat to pick you up for dinner, which really impresses the ladies. My personal favorite meal there, which I had on my two dining occasions, Caribbean Angel Hair Pasta. Why you ask? Homemade pasta, creamy Chardonnay sauce, calamari, prawns and Parmesan cheese? That’s why!

Belize Bars have awesome scenery ;-))

Belize Bars have awesome scenery ;-))

Another favorite for me anyway is the Capricorn Restaurant also reached by water taxi. I will start by telling you they have an excellent wine list. I started with the Escargot, or as my wife calls them..buggers in garlic. I might add that the shrimp or conch Ceviche is awesome too. If in season I always say local spiny lobster, it’s so sweet! If not, any fresh seafood or their signature dish..Stuffed Grouper. Now in reviews, this dish wasn’t scored to great, but I found it tasty. However, if finding bones in your dish turns you off, you may look at another dish. Just sayin.

Temple Run Tavern owners

Temple Run Tavern owners

Lastly, there is another restaurant that I would suggest you try, and that’s the Temple Run Tavern at X’Tan Ha Resort, about a 15 minute water taxi ride up the coast. It’s not fancy, at least not at this time, but reconstruction is planned on the building housing the restaurant. What you need to experience is the new menu offered by the young chef and his wife the baker. And to give you a reason to try it, the resort itself has the best sandy beach on the island, hands down, so go for the day, enjoy the beach and snorkeling, let Chi or Hill fix you a rum cocktail or six, then hit the restaurant for dinner. You won’t be disappointed.

And another reason to visit or stay at the X’Tan Ha Resort, is their new guide service, “No Worries Tours. Whether your looking for a snorkel experience or jungle Mayan Temple visit, why not experience it with locals who have done this their whole life. Tell em Gary sent you, and maybe you will get a T-shirt too ?

Hope you enjoy and take head of my experience on the island. If you haven’t been to Belize, you owe it to yourself to go and experience heaven

No Worries my friends,


PS- If interested in relocating to Belize, you might be interested in the link below.

About storiesbygary

I am a Freelance Writer / Photographer, writing travel related articles for international magazines, blogs and websites and my own published books.
This entry was posted in Adventure, Ambergris Caye, Belize, Caye Calker, Expat, fly fishing, Sanctuary Belize, scuba diving, travel, wine and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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